8 Oct 2023: “It is okay to be confused and silent”

Written By Nazhath Faheema

I shared the following message on my social media platform in response to inquiries from young Muslims grappling with their emotions surrounding the situation in Israel and Gaza, particularly after the declaration of war on 7 October. I specifically addressed those who found themselves torn between condemning acts of terror by Hamas against Israelis while also strongly supporting the Palestinian cause. I aimed to highlight the situation's complexity, urging individuals to recognize the multifaceted emotions and perspectives of those genuinely seeking to empathize with both sides. It's not uncommon to feel conflicted and confused amidst such polarizing events. During such times, I advocated for a moment of silence to embrace and understand the conflict responsibly rather than resorting to charged online rhetoric.

As anticipated, my post faced criticism from various quarters. Some individuals, driven by rage and radicalism, hastily formed opinions without fully comprehending the nuanced message I conveyed. Others missed the purpose behind my words. Jewish and Israeli respondents assumed I was advocating for silence regarding Hamas attacks on 7 October 2023, while on the other hand, Muslims and human rights activists accused me of promoting silence regarding Israeli atrocities in Gaza as a response to the attack. Perhaps I could have articulated better, but I leave it to the readers to interpret my intentions for themselves.

8 October 2023

Israel/Palestine: It is okay to be confused and silent.

Regarding the ongoing situation in Israel/Palestine, I've decided to maintain my silence and intend to continue doing so. I don't feel obligated to justify this decision to anyone, understanding that individuals will form their opinions and critiques. Despite receiving some unwelcome messages and comments over the past few hours, I recognize the intense emotions at play and choose to forgive those who have questioned my faith, morals, and identity as a Muslim. While I will uphold my social media silence, I remain open to speaking up when it becomes necessary and significant.

Furthermore, I want to emphasize that if you are someone who has not previously engaged with me in discussions on challenging interfaith topics, I reserve the right not to engage with you now simply because you've become active on this issue. My priority is safeguarding my mental and emotional well-being, ensuring I can navigate this situation and its aftermath. However, I acknowledge and empathize with your current emotions and allow you to express your frustrations.

I'm sharing this message primarily for the young Muslims who have reached out to me, expressing their concerns about my well-being and involvement during these trying times. I've responded to those I'm familiar with, and for those I haven't, I appreciate your outreach and hope to connect with you soon. As mentioned earlier, engaging with strangers presents challenges for me.

It's essential to recognize that feeling silent, confused, or conflicted during these times is entirely normal. Embrace these emotions and understand that Allah is aware of your feelings. You don't need to feel pressured to take a stance on social media, pick sides, or get involved in this issue simply because you are Muslim. It's okay to prioritize your mental well-being and decide if this is a battle you're ready to engage in emotionally. Choosing to remain silent and create space doesn't diminish your dedication to Palestinian issues or the lives of Israelis.

When considering the impact of social media, it's crucial to ponder whether it genuinely contributes to justice, liberation, fairness, or reducing loss of life over time. Your decision to stay silent on social media is valid. Your close friends and family know your actions and values, regardless of whether you publicly express them.

If some friends or family members criticize your silence, causing discomfort or friction, it's essential to recognize that their behaviour may be toxic for you. Maintaining distance from those who strain your relationships over an issue involving people's identities, existence, and lives is okay. Speak when you're ready and when they're open to listening. True friends and those with good intentions will understand this.

Many individuals bravely advocate for different sides of this issue, and their courage, confidence, and care deserve respect, regardless of whether you agree with their perspectives. Understand the depth of emotions involved, offer empathy, and leave it at that. It's important to allow for diverse voices, especially those seeking justice. However, holding onto your moral compass and discerning what you believe is right and wrong is equally crucial. Balancing an open mind with a strong sense of personal values is a meaningful way to navigate complex issues and contribute positively to the pursuit of justice.

Nevertheless, it's perfectly acceptable for you also to distance yourself from this discourse. Take ownership of your thoughts and emotions and shield yourself from peer pressure or the pressure to conform to a particular image of a "good Muslim." Simply reaching out to your Israeli and Palestinian friends, asking how they are, and letting them know you're keeping them in your prayers without delving into politics reflects your goodness as a Muslim. Always remember that your Creator is the ultimate judge of your actions. Allow yourself to find peace in your feelings and reasoning, as you will ultimately answer to Allah on the Day of Judgment.

Take care of yourself and those around you. Do what you can rationally within your means. Consider your affected friends and reach out when you can connect with them.

Thank you for confiding in me and for checking on me. I am and will be here, striving to bring communities together when this turmoil subsides. Though we've faced setbacks today, we will return to this mission. For now, we absorb the pain, hurt, and confusion.

In my prayers, I stand with and for those affected by the events in Israel/Palestine.

I pray. Insha Allah | Bez” H

Holding the Ropes: Interfaith Dialogue & Reflections Surrounding the Israel-Gaza War is a blog series that follows the events, dialogues and reflections experienced by Nazhath Faheema in the aftermath of the 2023 Israel-Gaza war. Triggered by the Hamas attack on Israel on 7 October 2023 and Israel’s military response, there continues to be widespread destruction and civilian displacement in Gaza. Additionally, Israeli hostages remain in captivity. 

Against this backdrop, Nazhath Faheema, through her reflections, provides insights into the dynamics of the war, its impact on interfaith relations, and the inherent challenges and opportunities in fostering understanding and empathy between Jewish and Muslim communities.

Nazhath Faheema

Nazhath Faheema, a Singaporean Muslim of Indian descent, actively promotes interfaith dialogue. She holds a full-time position at an NGO where she focuses on organizing interfaith charity events. Additionally, she plays an active role in community development, particularly in developing youth leadership to foster social harmony.

Furthermore, Nazhath serves as an external lecturer at ESSEC Asia Pacific in Singapore. She teaches students from Europe and Asia regions on "Race & Religion in Singapore" and "Islam in Singapore."

Nazhath earned her Master of Science in Asian Studies from the S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies at Nanyang Technological University, Singapore. She also holds a certificate in the Comparative Study of Religions in Plural Societies. Her research interests span various areas, including youth interfaith movements in Southeast Asia, Jewish-Muslim relations, interactions between Muslim-majority states and Israel, and interreligious dialogue in diplomacy.

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